In Search of Diane

Diane from Microsoft called me on the phone today, but I wasn't home. My hypothetical wife told her when I was expected back, and Diane requested that I call her as soon as possible. The number she gave me was the regular Microsoft Support number where, of course, I got a recording. The recording said that I should go to the website instead, which is what they sometimes say when they are too busy to talk to me. Indeed, that's was where I met Diane in the first place. On the website I went through the whole procedure that you have to go through before you can talk to a real person. Each time, when they asked me to state the nature of my problem, I wrote, "I need to talk to Diane F. She is expectimg my call." This did not compute, so the machine told me to click on "Talk to a person", which I did. The person I got was not Diane, but some guy whose name was Raul, or something like that. The following conversation then ensued:
"This is Raul. How may I help you?"
First I told him the case number that Diane had assigned to me, which she said I should always do. Then Raul said, "Please state the nature of your problem so I can connect you to the correct person to help you."
Then I said, "I need to talk to Diane F. She is expecting my call."
Raul: "If you will tell me the nature of your problem I will connect you to the correct person."
Me: "I need to talk to Diane F. She is expecting my call."
Raul: "If you will say 'okay' I will connect you to the correct department."
Me: "Okay."
Raul: "I will now connect you to the correct department."
Me: "Thank you."
Raul: "Goodbye."
Me: "Goodbye?"
Then there was some clicking and some beeping, and Raul hung up on me.
At that point I gave up and went to my smoking lounge to ponder the meaning of all this.

This evening, I found a message from Diane in my gmail inbox. She told me that she had tried to call me and had left a message with my hypothetical wife. I replied with a shortened version of the story I just related. I told her that, if she would tell me when she was going to call next time, I would make sure that I was home........And so the saga continues!