John Brown's Body

Back in the 70s, I secured permission from John Brown, a local farmer, to run my coon hounds in his cornfield at night. John was impressed that I had bothered to ask permission, he told me that most people didn't. He said that he didn't mind them hunting on his land, but he was not happy about those who drove their vehicles through his standing crops. I assured him that I would never do that, and that I would park anyplace he told me to, and walk in from there. John told me about another field he had that had been experiencing raccoon damage, and that I could park by the old sportsmen's club. It seems that the old sportsmen's clubhouse had burned some time ago, and the old sportsmen abandoned the site, choosing to rebuild somewhere else. The old site was on a little traveled back country road, and I didn't know it was there until John told me about it.

I pulled into the driveway of the old sportsmen's club on a dark October night. The burned out clubhouse stood in a grove of big old trees covered with dried out leaves that rustled ominously in the night wind. As my headlights swept the scene, I caught sight of a human body hanging from one of those trees! I have never had a heart attack, so I don't know what one feels like, but I was pretty sure I was having one that time. There were no cell phones in those days, so I knew I would have to leave the scene to report this, but I was in no shape to drive at the moment. I figured that my cardiac symptoms would subside eventually and decided to wait them out. While I was waiting, a car drove by on the county road, real slow, and I was sure that I heard the occupants laughing. Then I looked back at the body, and detected some stray bits of straw sticking out around the fringes of its clothing. It was a dummy or, as the Brits would say, "a guy", although I didn't learn about the Guy Fawkes tradition until decades later. It is my understanding that the Brits are the only ones who call a dummy a guy, we don't do that here. Well, I suppose some American guys are dummies, but all British dummies are guys.

I think that you guys are making too much out of this "they" thing. Sometimes it might mean a specific group, but usually it just means "other people". Haven't you ever heard somebody say "they say...."?