As witnessed by my paean to Johnny Cash I am all for peppering up your prose. And Burning Bed Bandit is plenty colorful, but it's a little disappointing under explanation when it is revealed that there is no thievery involved, indeed the only crime is littering. I get that it's alliterative and a grouping of three words is pleasing, but calling the guy a bandit is setting up the listener for a letdown.
How about bounder, the Burning Bed Bounder, three B's and the same rhythm, and it lends a bit of Merrie Olde Englande to The Swampe. "I say Guvnor, this looks like the work of the Burning Bed Bounder." Situated not far from a lake I would wager that Cheboygan gets its share of fog and you could switch out your roll your own for one of those pipes with the curvy stems, and wear one of those Sherlock Holmes hats. Then when the tourists tell the bus driver they have become bored with the shotgun toting authentic guy, he can offer to drive them off to a foggy spot of Merrie Olde Englande where a famous English detective lives in seclusion, and once they are assembled around your porch you can regale them with tales from your detective days. And If they look a bit bored you can switch to your stories about deer stalking.
Because that Sherlock Holmes hat is actually a deerstalking hat. You probably already knew that but I had to go the wiki.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deerstalker
Which I have to tell you is a little disappointing because it never properly explains what is going on with the bill facing backwards. I have to wonder if it is to confuse the deer so that they will not know whether the hunter is walking forwards or backwards.
I mentioned that thing about Putin withdrawing last morning in my post and as the day grew longer the story firmed up, and it was looking more and more like a withdrawal, but then it became more and more of a redeployment. But as you military guys must now, isn't a redeployment just a fancy word for a retreat?
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