catfish 4

 You know that bus, that old grey dog is not a bad way to travel.  Itch, he says the only people that ride the bus are the scum of the earth and college students.  He kind of likes to say these nasty things, lean across the bar and maybe take a quick glance to the left and the right as if he's afraid he might be insulting somebody, as if he cared, and then he says it like it's just between you and him.

 But what the hell the scum of the earth don't bother me none, still good people, just a little down on their luck is all, and college students, half of them are babes, and half of them, hell two thirds, are pretty hot, a pleasure to watch their blue jean butts as they shove their college crap up on the overheads, and if you're lucky maybe one of them will drop one of their little butts on the seat next to you and be swaying into you on the curves in the road, and you can strike up a little conversation, and already begin to be lucky before you even cruise into Champaign.

 No babe on this trip though, just some old fat guy.  Oh, had a little conversation with him about this and that, the weather, some sports and then what the hell, girls, but that just got him started on girls he’d known, and maybe and ex-wife or two.  I’m not sure because I stopped listening thinking about how those girls were probably old and fat now like him, and it wasn’t a pleasant thought, and I took to just looking out the window.  Not much scenery, just corn and soybean fields and little towns in between, but that was okay because every town was one town closer to Champaign,that land of milk and honey.

I settled into my seat and was ready for some sleep.  And that's where things went kind of bad because I couldn't fall asleep.  I got to thinking and the thinking wasn't so good.  I thought of something Itch said one night.  You know, he's always trying to show everybody how smart he is, and that night, we were all pretty loaded like usual, and he got into talking about the dark night of the soul, whatever that was, and at the time made a pretty good crack and got the crowd to laugh at him, and that was pretty cool, but it always bothered me, that phrase, dark night of the soul.

 And maybe that's what I was feeling then, riding that grey dog in the dark of night, with that fat old guy bumping up against me at every bump.  Because the thing was that thing about the scum of the earth and college students, I was always thinking of myself as a college student type because I was just a little older than them, but I had never actually been to college, and I had never had a job that paid good so maybe I was closer to the scum of the earth.

  Well I tell you I tossed and turned, as much as you can toss and turn sitting on one of those narrow seats with some old fat guy bouncing against you at every bump and me thinking is he the future Catfish, is this me twenty years from now, returning to Champaign for maybe the fiftieth time?  Well that's just crazy thinking, just crazy, the kind of thinking that creeps up on you in the darkness of the interstate. just the hum of the tires, and the soft snoring, and the bobbing of the sleeping heads, and nothing to see outside the window so it's like you're not going anywhere, and if you're not sleeping like everybody else, well you’re just by yourself.

 Caught a little sleep finally, but fell into this weird dream, the funeral of Catfish in Champaign, kind of a documentary really, and I was watching it and was a little impressed with all the cars following the hearse and kind of liked the way at the end they hoisted my body onto the bar at the Great Wall under the taps and turned them on.  Not so happy about the way I dissolved and went down that drain, but by then I was lurched awake by the bus hitting the off ramp to Farmer City  which was the last stop before Champaign.