No sir, Old Dog, the contents has been nothing but ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, and the manufacture thereof and various machines, and I believe cornstarch was mentioned at some point, which was a high point in the conversation, because it is a corn product and dovetails nicely into my very informative, briskly and entertainingly written, and lavishly illustrated, story of the baking of my corn muffins. About which, I might mention, not a word has been written, no kudos, no jolly good show, Uncle Ken, no, oh my mouth is watering just viewing that golden brown muffinscape. No nothin.
But anyhow I am outraged by Lyin' Old Dog contesting my view that there have been some ice cream free posts. I demand an investigation and so do the five million Beaglestonian readers who all voted for me and my ice cream free agenda, each one of whom shall soon be opening their mail boxes to find their very own muffin. And the dawgs will be paying for the muffins, and the postage, and Beaglestonia will be great again.
All those eight or nine years that I was a proud Methodist I had no idea what the doctrines of the church were. Dress nicely on Sundays (ugh), don't commit any major crimes (prolly I can manage that),, and most likely you will be passing through the pearly gates with a pat on the back (would like to know more about this place. Contrary to the polka will there be beer? Or will we be spending all eternity in scratchy suits singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our God, in which case I might just go ahead and commit a major crime because what the hell?).
Many years later I was talking to a methodist minister and lawdy how she went on about rules and regulations and doctrines, which I had never heard about before, and which really I don't see how I could have cared about, have a synod, don't have a synod, believe in the Eucharist don't believe in the Eucharist? It's all the same to me.
It is just you Beagles, nobody else cares about the doctrines. And you keep insisting that you are a deist which is not even a Christian, I think. I suppose you could claim that this do-nothing god of yours is actually Jesus Christ (Ghengis Khan was a Christian, a Nestorian Christian and probably believed things that would sound odd to us, but if you asked him if he believed in Jesus Christ, probably he would have said he did), which I don't think you do, and here you are telling Christians how they should behave.
I believe the religion is what most people believe, not what is written in some dusty book that only the preacher reads.
How did my beloved Objective Reality tree get dragged into religion? Have you no shame Beagles? Have you been eating ice cream until your brain froze and now you are blaspheming my tree?
The charge may have been blasphemy, but the cause of Socrate's death was being an enemy of the state. And by the way, I never understood why he didn't slip away before sipping that hemlock.
Maybe we could discuss that. It would be higher-toned than ice cream and even my (ahem) undiscussed corn muffins, though cheddar jalapeno corn muffins are on the agenda for this afternoon, and if Beagles attends tonight's seminar he may even get a bite of the body and see if is better than whatever they passed around as the body after singing A Mighty Fortress/
No comments:
Post a Comment