Adam's First Wife

A lot of people don't know this, but Eve was actually Adam's second wife, his first wife was named Lilith. She was created at the same time as Adam, out of the same clay, which led her to have highfalutin notions about being his equal. Some versions of the story say that she insisted on being on top when she and Adam had sex, which caused Adam to ask God if he could trade her in for a more submissive woman. Apparently Adam was one of those guys who don't like to fuck up. (I make small joke.) So it came to pass that God created Eve out of one of Adam's ribs so that she would be content with her position as second banana. Lilith left the garden in a huff and ultimately went on to become the Queen of Demons. (You won't find this story in the Bible, it's one of those folk legends that didn't make the cut.)

I keep telling you guys that Christians don't get to Heaven by doing good deeds, for it is written, "If I give away all that I have and deliver my body to be burned, I gain nothing." (1st Corinthians chapter 13). If a Christian gives a bum a buck, he has the same motivation as the atheist, to make himself feel good. Ken's question about the relative goodness of the Christian and the Atheist's motivation raises another question: Who gets to judge? The Christian might quote his man Jesus who said, "Judge not that ye be not judged." The Atheist would not likely submit to any divine judge because he doesn't believe any of them exist. So there you have it.

My ice cream machine also has a 1.5 quart capacity. Old Dog, if yours is a Cuisinart ICE21 like mine, you biggest headache will be getting the finished product out of the machine and into a freezer container. The first time I thought that I should pull out the agitator before scooping out the product, but that didn't work so well. What I do now is scoop out as much stuff as I can, and then pull out the agitator to get at the rest. I use a plastic serving spoon to avoid scratching any of the equipment. But before you do any of that, have a small rubber spatula close at hand. Use this to scrape as much product as you can off the agitator before using you fingers and your tongue to salvage the rest. Go back to the plastic spoon to clean out the freezing vessel before, again, resorting to fingers and tongue.

The instructions tell you to add stuff like fruit, nuts, or chocolate chips while the unit is still running, but then you will have to adjust your ingredients accordingly to prevent overfilling the vessel. I prefer to add that stuff after the mix is in the freezer container, but before I put it in the freezer to firm up. The product will be soft and pliable then, making it easy to stir in the additives. I have tried three kinds of fresh fruit bits: banana, strawberry, and apple. I was only pleased with the banana bits, the strawberry and apple bits froze up hard as a rock and it was like eating ice cubes. I had much better luck stirring in some cherry preserves, and plan to try other preserves in the future. I also tried stirring in regular ice cream toppings but, for some reason, they tend to sink to the bottom of the batch while it's in the freezer.