Mr Trost goes into the courtroom

I have to tell you, you may be the the orator of Beaglesonia, but you ain’t no Fred Trost. Where was the gentle humor, the deft twist of a phrase, and the sparkling in the eyes of the otherwise curmudgeonly Fred Trost. Now there was a man who could make you feel like you just couldn’t wait to get out there and grease those, wheel bearings is it? Whatever those are.

I have to admit though that I have never seen Fred Trost. I mean to watch those you tubes thing, but everytime I start clicking my way to you tube I get a yawn attack and I never get all the way through, maybe this weekend. I’ll see if I can find the one where he is pissing in the woods. Why a steak dinner? You would think a burrito would give you more pungent pee or maybe some kind of salad made up of what deer eat. But probably old Fred was a steak and potatoes guy. And I’m sure he was as honest as the day is long, but probably he was able to write off that dinner as a business expense, so he ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.

This is just word of mouth, but I’ve heard whenever one of those spatty lawyer types got into it with Fred and his crusty but kindly ways were winning over the jury, they would just say something like how their client was as pure as an ungreased trailer hitch, and Fred, because he was always out to set people straight on things, would step right up with an objection and then go on to explain as how it wasn’t the trailer hitch, it was those wheel bearings, and then he would have to explain what wheel bearings were to the spatty lawyers who wouldn’t know, and on and on.

And then if the jury was still awake they would comment on how somebody must’ve spilled their jug of Buckstop in the parking lot, because they had seen a big bull deer (do they call them big bull deer?) stomping in the parking lot, and the next thing you know Fred would be out there taking a leak.

I don’t know any of this to be fact of course, but it makes a nice story huh?

Unicorn hunters?

Maybe our readers are getting tired of all this trivia stuff, maybe we need to get back to our hard hitting news of the day analysis that drives our readers wild. I am going to go out and get the papers from the hallway and say what this morning’s issues are.

Ah, it’s all local politics. The main issue is that Rahm is edging close to the 50 percent he will need to avoid a runoff, but I don’t imagine you pay much attention to Chicago politics. Maybe you can find something this evening in the Cheboygan Trib.