guns 'n horses

I don't recall the story about how the shopkeepers of Cheboygan were hostile to new kid on the block, Beagles.  Was it just because you were new?

I don't recall either the guy who put himself into tv plots.  A lot of guys like him though, guys who when given perfectly good reasonable advice, cast it to the winds.  Well I'd wager the guy was not a Bohunk like us.  I remember once I got a fat tax return and my spendthrift pal was all panting about what I was going to spend it on, and I told him, "Ed, I am a Bohunk, this money is going straight into the bank."

That was back when you got more than one lousy percent interest on your savings and you could watch your money grow.  That was back when you had a little bankbook and you took it to the bank every quarter and the clerk would write in your interest.  Those were the days my friend,

Remember that song?  At the time I thought wow, I bet when I get old, me and my friends will play it every time we get together.  Not that I really thought I would ever get old, but now that I am whenever I get together with my friends we never play it.  Too depressing.

What is the deal with horses?  At one time when I was living in Champaign one of the women I knew bought a horse, and when the other women found out about that, they all went out and bought horses, and then when they got together all they talked about was their horses.  These were city folk.  They didn't keep the horses in their garages, they were kept, well I don't know, out in the country.  I think there were stables that kept these horses and fed them and the horsewomen would come out there every chance they got, though they did have jobs and kids, so it wasn't that often, and then they would do what, feed the horse a carrot and ride once or twice around the whatever?  Well women, you know they are always up to some crazy shit?

But  men?  Why would a man keep a horse?  And why two?  You know one of my old Champaign buddies came to town last summer and I assumed he was a good liberal like me, but when we got to talking it turned out that he was a gun nut.  I want to say moderate gun nut, but I don't believe there is such a thing as a moderate gun nut.  Maybe there are gun nuts who happen to be talking to their liberal pals and don't want to get in a big argument so they become moderate gun nuts.

Anyway he turned out to have like seven or eight guns, and now that I think of it, all you gun nuts have a bunch of weapons, and if given the chance, will describe every one of them as if they were talking about their children.  I was going to make a joke here about a gun nut pulling out his wallet and showing off the pictures of all his guns, but probably this is no joke, it probably happens all the time, but nowadays it would be on their sooper dooper phones.

You know that is another thing about those phones, people are always handing them to you so that you can look at their kids, or their horses or their guns, and when you take it from them you have to be careful not to touch some button or tilt it the wrong way or something because then the picture goes away, and then you have to hand it back to them, and then they have to fiddle with it, which they love to do anyway, to show you a picture which almost always you never wanted to see anyway, and when they fix it they hand it back with this patronizing smile like they are handing you a string of beads for the island of Manhattan,  Assholes.

Well speaking of assholes, how come you guys have so many guns?  I paint every morning and I have one set of brushes, one set of paints, one palette, and whenever that palette cracks or gets too crusty I will throw it away and buy another.  That's the other thing half the guns you gun nuts have don't work, but you just keep them around because well,you guys are always up to some crazy shit,