the help desk

Diane huh?  Consider this.  D is the fourth letter of the alphabet and E is the fifth.  If we add them together we get nine.  If we take the N and rotate it ninety degrees clockwise we get a two.  If we add that to nine we get eleven.  K is the eleventh letter in the alaphabet.  E is one past D, so that gives us twelve, and L is the twelfth letter of the alphabet.  That gives us KIANL.  Move the L two back because of that N and remove it because we have used it twice now and we have KILA. Reverse the vowels because it is Tuesday a day whose name has the vowels in reverse alphabetical order and we get KALI: Goddess of Time, Creation, Destruction and Power.

Probably on the other side of the phone you can't see her, but does she sound anything like this?

 armed with a sword and noose. Bearing the strange khatvanga (skull-topped staff ), decorated with a garland of skulls, clad in a tiger's skin, very appalling owing to her emaciated flesh, with gaping mouth, fearful with her tongue lolling out, having deep reddish eyes, filling the regions of the sky with her roars,

Note that in the illustration she is dancing upon Shiva, who is one of the big three, akin to our Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, if she dances on him she will surely make short work of some backwoods chap with a new Acer computer.  Word on the street is she surfs cyberspace on her magic motherboard. probably a Windows 10 bumper sticker on the back, seeking out the calls of the befuddled and offers them succor as one of her four magic hands reaches into their boxes and seemingly sets things right, but she is not done yet/

She leaves the call, when the freeholder is away which is to be answered as soon as possible, and when the poor fool attempts to respond, he is blocked by Raul her roboslave, or maybe her three-headed dog, I forget which, who toys with him and drops his call.  The sap retires to his smoking lounge, gets her email, responds and waits for the saga to continue.

Who can doubt that the saga will end with the sap in his skivvies stalking the sacred deer on a snowy night and then the sky filling with roars?   And then her dancing feet across his prostrate body.

She is kind of hot though.