paddling the Olentangy River

That's the trouble with analogies, you are trying to display your point clearly by moving it to a different locale and giving it a concrete familiar setting.  Who among us hasn't been paddling along on Moonlight Bay only to discover a fork with two rapids?  It's like if you want to get the idea of seven across, instead of counting down your fingers you show seven apples, seven oranges, seven oh, severed fingers. Thusly the recipient of your Socratic explanation grasps the abstract idea that you are trying to convey.

But no, they think you are telling a story.  Who is with me in that canoe?  Is it my sweetie or is it that strange Minaj woman with her genormous fake butt, and isn't that damn thing going to tip over the canoe long before we get to any rapids?


Just as we are familiar with paddling canoes towards rapids, I am sure we are also familiar with the theory of relativity, though I think Beagles eschews it as that goofy new science.  The story they use, and I think it is Einstein's own example, is of a guy bouncing a ball on a train.  I suppose I could move the example to a canoe, that would give me another opportunity to reference Nicki's bogus backside. but maybe once is enough,and look, now it is twice already. Gal gets around.

And I think it's dangerous to bounce a ball in a canoe.  So Alfred is sitting under a tree in his backyard when a train passes by close enough so that he can see a guy bouncing a ball on the floor.  What it looks like to Alfred is that the ball leaves the guy's hand, travels three feet to the floor and say, five feet westward because that is the speed and direction of the train, then travels three feet up,but again five feet westward, so that the path of the ball is a zig zag.  But Alfred realizes that to the man on the train the ball is simply going up and down, and hence the movement of the ball is dependent on the viewer.  He whips out a piece of paper and a pen, and thirty years hence, the atomic bomb.

So let's say that Beagles is paddling his canoe down the Olentangy River in downtown Columbus to the polls on election day.  I choose Ohio because it is a swing state even though I know there is bad blood between Ohioans and Michiganders because years ago Ohio got Topeka and all Michigan got was that stupid peninsula.  As far as Beagles is concerned he will be voting for Gary and The 'Trarians! and he will be keeping his hands free of Dumbo or Big Girl.

I am watching from my tower.  As far as I am concerned the facts on the ground are that either Dumbo or Big Girl will win and I definitely want it to be her.  I know that Beagles despises her and all democrats so possibly he will vote for Trump, and that means it will take one enlightened vote for Clinton to negate it.  So let's put Nicki in the canoe with him, and he votes for Trump and she votes for Hilary and the net result is 1-1.  But if he instead votes for Gary that will make it 0-1 in favor of the pants-suited warrior.  It would have been better from my point of view if he had voted for Hilary, then it would have been 0-2, so 0,1 is halfway between 1-1 and 0-2, so that's why I call it a half vote.


Those town halls are kind of bogus, like those fb things.  The people write in questions but the moderators choose whose questions get asked so it's like the moderators are asking the questions.  But they will have to answer the questioner in person and that might be different.  How well does Cheeto Man feel other people's pain?  Not very well I expect.  And how does he react to some peon who has the effontery to disagree with him?  Even less well I submit.