Ain't English a Funny Language?

I have heard that English is a difficult language to learn because of all those irregular forms, but I think other languages have problems of their own. What about Chinese? Maybe it's easy for Chinese people but, when you translate it literally, it often makes no sense at all. I think what makes English unique is that almost every word of it comes from some other language. I mean, all languages borrow words from other languages, but I think English does it more. Does English even have a single root language? You hear about those Anglo-Saxons, but I think the only words we got from them that are still in use are swear words.

According to my dictionary, the plural of elk is elks, but then further along in the text, it says that the plural is usually elk, so I guess it means you can use either one. The official name of the lodge is: The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks. Maybe it's like with beer. You bought a case of beer, and you drank two beers. Using that logic, the hunters saw a herd of elk, and they shot two elks. They have moose in Europe, but they call them elk. They also have something that looks a lot like our elk, but they call them red deer, or red stags. Actually, only the male is a stag, I think the female is called a hart, or maybe it's a hind. I think that elk are smarter than moose, or maybe it just looks that way because moose are ungainly looking things, while elk look more poised and graceful.

I was heading to town to buy beer on Thursday when the brakes went out on my truck, so I drove it to the dealership instead. Then I called my hypothetical wife to come get me in her car. It was getting late by then, she had things to do, and I wasn't totally out of beer, so we decided to go straight home.  Friday was grocery shopping day, so my hypothetical wife's car was not available to me. (She refuses to buy beer for me because somebody told her a long time ago that it constitutes enabling behavior.) Friday was opening day of muzzle loader season, but Old Betsy wasn't ready, so I took that day to get her ready. Saturday I borrowed my hypothetical wife's car to make my run to town, and Sunday I went hunting. I went hunting again today like I said I would. The guy never did call, so I called him myself just before closing time. He said that the parts hadn't come in yet, maybe tomorrow.