Search This Blog

Thursday, December 4, 2014

It all makes sense with a snootful of Jagermeister

Jagermeister, well I suppose that is not all that different from reading the back of a cereal box. Cereal boxes used to be full of uplifting messages for us kids who it seemed like everybody was looking to be the leaders of tomorrow. I don’t know, they were probably just saying that as a way to pat us on the head and feel proud while they duped us into buying their products. Now that I think about it I first heard that phrase watching the Mickey Mouse Club, so there you go.

I’ve always had a particular dislike for the whole Disney thing. People have their own myths and lore and Disney takes that and wraps it into a movie that is just like every other movie they make, and kind of write over folk tales and myths and bleach out everything that was odd and interesting and make it into just another loaf of white bread. It’s like those Hallmark cards with the bland picture and the fancy calligraphy inside with some hackneyed message expressed flawlessly, and people read it and go awww, but it’s just something a stranger wrote, something their friend bought, why didn’t they just give them the three or four bucks? And then that hackneyed message gets put against a black background, or maybe some clip art and gets pasted up on fb, and I dare not rant lest I lose all my friends.

Well what about a guy who doesn’t hunt? What about a farmer? What about a school bus driver? What about a guy who collects stamps? Are they not honoring the creator? Are they dishonoring the creator, by not going out and shooting something? And if they are, as I’m sure Disney and Hallmark would claim, in their own little way, all of us like a glowing mosaic, like the stars in the firmament, all of us honoring the creator, then what makes Elmer Fudd so special, and why is he stumbling through the woods so all-fired proud of himself, especially after he has had a snootful of Jagermeister?

Ah but I suppose once he has that fine buzz going and stumbles into his comfy blind and rests his eyes for just a sec he is off to deer dreamland, where his creator leads the deer before him and then gently pulls on the trigger for him. How is the blind kept warm? Doesn’t it bother the deer that here is some warmth coming out of that shed? Well I guess not. He knows he can walk right up to that big warm house and that when Beagles spots him and takes hold of Old Betsy, the hypothetical wife will say, “Now Dear, you put that away.”

What happened to the wabbits? Did they get a disease? Too many coyotes? Something they liked to eat disappeared? Some other animal is filling their niche? You know, if He is so careless in tending to his created, I don’t see why you should take your responsibility so seriously.

Yes indeed, I did join the other side when I started subbing. I was a little bit soft, but I think I did a pretty good job, as per my motto, nobody ever got hurt. But some of the other subs, they had that voice of command, which didn’t always work, but it was better to have than not to have, and I never had that voice, maybe because I never really believed in authority and I was always faking it.

Funny too how loyal I am too the democrats now. I know most of them are lying sacks of shit, which doesn’t make me all that bitter because I know that you have to be a lying sack of shit to get anywhere in politics. An honest man is never going to go anywhere in politics because the voters basically want something for nothing and they are too lazy to think things through so the wool is easily pulled over their eyes, and bringing integrity to politics is like bringing a pocket knife to a gun fight.


Funny, I bet you would say the same thing. The politicians on both sides would never say anything like that, but their backers say it all the time. Both sides think if the voter was only more idealistic and knowledgeable, why their side would win all the time. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

No comments:

Post a Comment