we don't need no stinking Article III, Section 2, Paragraph 2

You would think that North and South Dakota would want to unite and become Greater Dakota. That has a ring to it. I mean South Dakota, who hears that and thinks hot beaches and string bikinis? They hear North Dakota and all they can think of is even worse. They came out with a beer called Dakota in the late eighties, but it didn’t last very long, not only was it (ugh) a wheat beer, but who the hell thinks anything about Dakota is cool?

Speaking of beer, and I love speaking of beer, I wonder what kind you drink. Is there a beer of northern Michigan, the way Old Style was the beer of Chicago (even though it was brewed in Cheeseland)? Myself I have gotten into the craft beers, the pale ales and the IPAs, but not some of these new-fangled IPAs with 8 percent alcohol, because I like to extend my beer drinking experience as long as possible.

I’ve never read the constitution. Actually as someone who loves politics the way I do, my knowledge of the technical aspects is woefully sketchy. I have to admit that I don’t think it is that important, because what really counts is how people interpret it and what they do with it. Who knows where Article III, Section 2, Paragraph 2 comes from? Maybe it was late on a hot afternoon and they were all deeply into their whiskey, and some asshole, who was probably also drunk, insisted they stick it in, and wouldn’t shut up about it, and they wanted to get home to their suppers, and they all said, “Fine.” And the next morning when they saw it there they were all (even the asshole) embarrassed and thought about taking it out, but then one of the wiser heads said, let’s not bother, what kind of goofball with too much time on his hands is ever going to even notice it.

I can’t imagine that even someone like Ted Cruz would ever try to introduce a law that would be exempt from judicial review. The whole idea is ridiculous because laws are built on other laws, and if some of the laws are based on exempt laws than how do you ever change them? All I can think is that that asshole was really drunk and everybody else was real hungry.

Politicians of either party love to piss and moan about the supreme court, but none of them really want to fuck with it, because they are like those poor deluded fools who don’t want to raise taxes on the rich because they expect to be rich someday. The people always prefer optimistic politicians, and optimistic politicians assume that their party will soon have control of the gummint and they will be able to load the court with their own people.

Oh we Chicagoans don’t want to talk much about Gary, nobody does. At least the poor people in Chicago can go down to the Magnificent Mile and see rich people and dream that foolish deluded dream that someday they might be rich someday too, but Gary is desolate all over. But you are right that the big cities have more in common with each other, and probably the burbs have more in common with each other, and the small towns with each other, than any of them have with other parts of their states. The big cities in the reddest states have democratic, or at least liberal, mayors, and the rural areas in the bluest of states have the most conservative representatives.

I think this is because the gummint is highly visible in the big cities, and hardly visible at all in rural areas which makes them think we don’t want no dadburn gummint.