Who Woulda Thunk It?

I don't claim to have ESP, but I have a funny feeling that you never sharpened that knife since you got it. I don't know why I know that, I just know it. It may sound counterintuitive, but a sharp knife is actually safer than a dull knife. That's because you have to use more force with a dull knife, and it's prone to slipping off your work and into your finger or some other body part. As with art, there is a certain amount of mystique associated with sharpening a knife but, in my experience, it's mostly bull shit. Anybody that can use a knife can learn to sharpen one.

What you need is something called a "file stone". It's a long course stone with a handle on it. I've had mine for decades, so I'm not sure how easy they are to find anymore, but most hardware stores used to carry them. People will tell you to put oil on the stone, but don't do it. You will wear a little off the stone each time you use it, but that just means it's working. Get in the habit of using the whole length of the stone so you won't wear a dip in the surface and it should last you all your life. If you drop it on a hard floor it might break in two, but you can still use the pieces for years. It would be easier for me to show you how to draw the knife across the stone than to describe it in words, but maybe somebody in your building knows how and can show you. There are lots books and magazine articles about how to sharpen a knife but, for some reason, most of them are wrong. Sex is the only subject I know of that has more misinformation associated with it.

What you said about the apple reminds me of a story: An elementary school teacher stood up in front of her class with her hands behind her back. She said, "I'm holding something behind my back, it's round, and it's red, and it's good to eat. What is it?" Little Mary raised her hand and said, "It's and apple!". The teacher said, "No, actually it's a cherry, but at least it shows that you're thinking." Next the teacher said, "Now I'm holding something that's round, and orange, and it's good to eat. What is it?" Little Judy raised her hand and said, "It's an orange!" The teacher said, "No, actually it's a tangerine, but at least it shows that you're thinking." Then little Johnny stood up with his hand in his pants pocket and said, "I'm holding something that's round, and long, and hard, and it has a big red head on it. What is it?" The teacher flew into a rage and ordered Johnny to the principal's office for talking dirty in her class. As he was walking out the door, Johnny said, "Actually it's just a stick match, but at least it shows that you're thinking."

What you said about the positioning or the eyes was a surprise to me, just like the first time I heard about Galileo dropping those two balls off the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's funny how you can believe something because it seems to make sense, and then one day you find out that it's just not true. It's a good idea to challenge your assumptions once in a while, isn't it.

Have a nice, healing weekend!