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Thursday, August 4, 2016

Chads? Chads? We Don't Need No Stinking Chads!

We never had those chad things in Cheboygan County. We went from paper ballots, to mechanical machines, to digital scanners, all in my lifetime. I never trusted those mechanical machines, I thought they would be too easy to tamper with, but I suppose they must have been subject to some kind of inspection. We already had digital scanners in 2000 when there was that chad controversy in Florida, which was the first time I ever heard of those chads. Why would any state want to use a crap system like that? They'd be better off with paper ballots. The digital scanners capture the best of both worlds. The votes are recorded instantaneously and the results are available as soon as the polls close, but they still have the paper ballots in case they need to do a recount.

It's hard to believe that anybody could screw up or screw with the voting process around here. First you fill out a ballot application, which is just your name and address, with that affidavit I told you about on the back. You give that to the first lady at the table along with your driver's license. She passes the paper to the next lady and scans your driver's license. Then she asks the second lady if the name and address on the application is the same as the one she came up with and tells her what ballot number to give you. Then the second lady passes the application to a third lady who gives you your ballot and a folder thing to put it in so that nobody can see your ballot, and she also gives you back your application. After you have filled out your ballot, you take it to another person sitting at a different table. They take your application and put it in some kind of binder. Then they tear off the top of the ballot, which has the number on it, and put that in a can. While they are doing this, they tell you to hang on to the folder with your ballot in it. Then you take your ballot to the machine and stick the top of it in the slot, which sucks in your ballot, leaving the empty folder in your hand. So they have a record of what ballot number you were given, but the ballot itself doesn't show that because that part was torn off and put into the can. You put your empty folder on the table by the back door on your way out. The whole process only takes a few minutes, plus the time you spend filling out your ballot in the booth, and what ever time you spent waiting in line at the front door. The last presidential election in 2012 was the only time I have ever had to wait in line for any length of time. Everybody was saying that they had never seen such a big turnout before.

There is no law that requires you to have any kind of ID just to walk down the street, but most people around here have a driver's license, except for those who are too old and infirm to get it renewed, which is what the state ID card is for. You used to need a picture ID to cash a check or pay for anything with a check, but hardly anybody uses checks anymore. I suppose that, if you looked suspicious, a cop could ask to see your ID. I don't know what they would do if you didn't have one, probably ask your name and look it up on their computer or something.

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