Well, it could be worse, I could be living in Chicago. I hear that you guys broke some kind of record today. Fifteen below is not that unusual around here for a night time low, but I don't think that we've ever had that for a day time high. Congratulations! We didn't get below zero last night or during the day today, but we're down to about two below right now (9:30 PM). Of course our wind chills have been below zero, but not our actual temperatures. The good news is that most of the snow missed us this time. That's okay, we've already got lots, you guys can have some of ours anytime.
Speaking of weather, you know that ship that's been stuck in the ice off the coast of Antarctica since Christmas? Well, they sent a Chinese ice breaker to rescue them, and that ship got stuck too. What were they thinking sending a Chinese ship, don't they know that all Chinese ships are junks? All kidding aside, I just heard on the news last night that the original stuck ship is a research vessel full of scientists who went down there to study the effects of global warming ! (I'm not making this up!)
Okay, back to the sunny Middle East. How did a place like that come to be the "Cradle of Civilization" in the first place? I know that its climate wasn't always as inhospitable as it is today, but I don't think that it ever was as nice as Europe or North America. What was God thinking when He called it the "Promised Land"? Maybe He just used it to practice on, figuring that He couldn't make it much worse than it already was. And why have people have been fighting over it ever since? What's it good for, other than the oil, which nobody knew about until the 20th Century anyway? Well, one thing is that I don't think the temperature there ever gets below zero, which would be a benefit back when the only clothes they had were bathrobes and sandals.
Be that as it may, I agree with you that our guys have no business being there. Why do Europeans and Americans find awful places like that so attractive? When they ran out of places like that on Earth, they went to the Moon, and now they're going to Mars. Why don't they look in their Star Fleet manuals and find a nice Class M planet to colonize? There must be millions of them out there. Well, they're all much farther away from Earth than the Moon or Mars, but that's what the warp drive is for.
Speaking of Mars, you know what I heard they are planning to do? They want to send some people to Mars and never bring them back. They will be expected to stay there, receive shipments of additional supplies and equipment, and set them up for the next generation, who will also be sent there on a one way ticket. That might not be such a bad idea if they were planning to send certain undesirable people who the Earth would be better off without, (We won't mention their names, they know who they are.) but that's not what they're doing. No, they are soliciting volunteers. I understand that they already have a long list of them, more than they can ever use. I wouldn't have minded going to Mars myself in my younger days, but that was when we thought there were canals and other useful things there. Why would anybody in their right minds want to go there now that we know it's just a big hunk of red rock without sufficient atmosphere to walk around outdoors in your shirt sleeves? We used to think that there was life on Mars, now they are saying that, if there ever was life there, it's all gone now. There must be a reason for that!
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