Back From the Precipice for Now

 I was in the hospital for four days.  I have been out four days now and am just starting to feel a little better.  I may never get totally well.  This might be the Big One.  I have been short winded all my life, and it has gotten progressively worse as I have aged.  I went in for a routine test last Thursday, and my breathing was so labored that they decided to keep me.  I spent the night in the emergency room because there was no room for me in the hospital until morning when they shipped me off to Petoskey.  Our own hospital was converted to an outpatient clinic some years ago.  They can do a lot of things there but, if you need to stay overnight, they ship you to Petoskey.  

I guess this might sound worse than it is.  I am fine as long as I don't do anything, I just start breathing heavy when I walk or bend over. I first noticed it when I was in the army.  In those days, I could walk or march all day, but I was only good for about a mile at "double time"|, which is what they called jogging.  Now I get breathless just walking any distance at all.  I suspect this is all due to the bout of rheumatic fever that I had as a kid.  They declared me cured at the age of 10, but I was never able to compete with other kids at sports.  That didn't bother, me since I never developed an interest in competitive sports anyway. 

The docs at the hospital couldn't find anything wrong with my lungs, but they said I had a dangerously irregular heartbeat that they called "A-fib".  After several tests and a couple of invasive procedures, they said my heartbeat was okay but wouldn't guarantee it would stay that way.  They prescribed several medications, but I'm not sure that I will take any of them.  I plan to consult with my regular physician, but for now their side effects all sound worse than my original problem.  I understand that not everybody experiences these side effects but, with my history, I am at elevated risk.  Meanwhile, the doc said that fixing my heartbeat "might help" with my breathing problem, but he didn't say how long it would take before I noticed any difference.  I didn't notice any improvement the first three days, but it seems to be a little better today. 

I guess I can't complain, lots of people my age are in worse shape than I am, and some of them are dead.  I have already lived longer than any of my male relatives.  Nevertheless, I like it here and am not eager to advance to the next level of existence.  If I do die, let the record show that I am doing it under protest.