This bunch of Marines had finished its basic training, and each guy was being given his orders for his next assignment. When Jones saw that his assignment was Vietnam, he broke ranks and ran off into the woods. He was crying when his sergeant caught up with him, and the sergeant told him that he was a disgrace to himself and the Corps for being such a coward. Jones replied that he was not afraid of fighting or even dying, he was just afraid that he might shoot some innocent Vietnamese peasant by mistake because he had been told that the enemy didn't wear uniforms over there. The sergeant said that he had been to Vietnam twice and would teach him how to survive over there without shedding innocent blood.
"Say you're walking down the road, and you see this unidentified Vietnamese walking towards you. What you do is hollar out 'Ho Chi Minh eats shit!' and hit the ditch. If he starts shooting at you, then you know he's a Viet Cong, and you can shoot back." Jones was comforted by this information and said that he was no longer afraid to go to Vietnam.
About six months later, the sergeant saw Jones in a military hospital, all busted up. "What happened?" he exclaimed, "I thought I told you how to survive over there." Jones replied, "I did just what you said, Sarge. I saw this Vietnamese coming at me and I hollared 'Ho Chi Minh eats shit!' and he hollared back 'Yeah, and Nixon's a cocksucker too!' Then, as we stood in the middle of the road shaking hands, this truck came along and ran over both of us."
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